An Emotional Homecoming
Re-entry shock. The first time I experienced this was back in ’94, after returning from my junior year abroad in London. It’s the reverse culture shock that happens when you come home after being away for a while. And it hit me just as hard when I came back to New York a little over a month ago.
The sense of isolation unnerved me. During three months in Florida quarantining with my fiancé Steve, I was fortunate to only feel cooped up intermittently, buoyed by our being together. But that all changed as soon as I got home.
Arriving just as the city was starting its multi-phased reopening, I felt like NYC had turned into a war zone. Even living through 9/11 and Hurricane Sandy didn’t prepare me for the overwhelming sadness and silence that had fallen upon my hometown. Longtime neighborhood businesses shuttered, many for good. A corner bodega selling a batch of Nestle’s Quik that expired back in April. Friends I hadn’t seen in months preoccupied and wanting to talk only about the virus or quarantine life. And clearly visible behind the masks worn by everyone, a dispirited demeanor far surpassing the usual crankiness for which New Yorkers are known.
Thankfully, as things started opening up, what has not changed came into view – people zooming past and huffing audibly if you’re not walking at full speed; random strangers talking to themselves out loud; the grit and resilience of this amazing city.
A thread of seasonal normalcy emerged with expanded outdoor dining, as restaurants now work twice as hard for half the revenue. In addition to safety precautions like plexiglass dividers, Upper East Side stalwart Beach Café has added a bar by its French doors, frozen drinks and whimsical touches like an ocean blue lifeguard chair. Ko Sushi, an indoor venue only pre-COVID, invested in Astro Turf, food-themed umbrellas and fairy lights to dress up its new seating area.
NYC has gone from being the epicenter of this deadly virus to, thank God, having one of the lowest infection rates. One of the world’s most densely populated places, designed for the very opposite of social distancing, managed to completely shut down. It’s no secret how this was accomplished — by people staying home and wearing masks. New Yorkers did this without complaining about their lives being upended and suddenly having to go without most of what makes our beloved city so great. Which makes the whining of those in smaller cities not only ignorant but absurd. If New York can empty out Times Square (!) and Grand Central Terminal, these other places need to quit carping and follow our lead.
As for the ongoing drama over masks, CNN put it best in a recent piece stating most of the world has moved on. Many countries implemented face covering requirements long ago. One statistical model predicts that if 95% of Americans wear face coverings, more than 66,000 lives could be saved by December 1st. This is not about politics. It’s about public health and doing what’s right. Besides, there’s no excuse not to wear a mask now given the dizzying variety of colorful, fun ones to choose from. A doorman in my building proudly sports an NY skyline-themed covering every day. One girlfriend has a mini-wardrobe of fashionable face coverings coordinated to match her running gear. I’m currently rotating between pink, black and this teal little number sent to me by my BFF.
Just like I did in Florida at the start of the quarantine, I spent my first few weeks back home in cleaning mode – clearing out closets, going through old photos and doing a much-needed purge of stuff I no longer need or use. From my physical space, I moved onto digital housekeeping, cleaning up my music library, deleting old emails and switching cell phone providers for the first time (saving over $100/month, woo hoo).
When it comes to entertainment, I am in a loop of re-watching old favorites. Currently in rotation – ABC’s Castle, the first season of Who’s The Boss and ‘80s-era YouTube clips of NBC soaps Days of Our Lives and Santa Barbara. In this era of such uncertainty, it’s reassuring to know these beloved shows and characters can always be counted on for a pick me up.
For comfort, I continue to enjoy USA Today’s Staying Apart, Together e-newsletter, and count my blessings daily in Brenda Nathan’s One-Minute Gratitude Journal. Among recent items on the list: watching my pup Benji playfully tussle with other dogs in the neighborhood, delicious delivery from David’s Cuban restaurant and having the time to finally finish my memoir.
Time. A precious commodity that has taken on a strange dimension during the pandemic. Individual days seem to go quickly and yet everything feels static because we’re still in a holding pattern. Not knowing when things will get better is hard. But they will get better. As the late, great civil rights leader John Lewis said in his powerful, poignant final essay —
“People on every continent have stood in your shoes, through decades and centuries before you. The truth does not change, and that is why the answers worked out long ago can help you find solutions to the challenges of our time.”
Sending love and light to you all.
