New York City Gal

Savoring A New Age Bracket

I recently celebrated my 45th birthday. Now, as a longtime friend reminded me, I will be checking the box of a different age bracket on surveys.

While it’s unnerving and more than a little humbling to feel the swift passage of time, I can’t help thinking of all the good that has come with officially being in my mid-forties.

The round numbered birthdays may receive more fanfare, but 45 has already proved to be equally deserving of it. Because even more so than previous ages, this one feels like a new chapter. Especially when comparing it to how I felt turning 40.

As I’ve said many times, the big 4-0 seemed like a blinking neon sign illuminating the things that didn’t precede this milestone—most significantly, marriage and motherhood. I know I’m in good company when it comes to departing from the trajectory that women are still largely expected to follow. And yet, I found myself feeling less than those who’ve taken a more traditional path, like I had failed in some way.

Flash forward to my cousin Alexandra’s baby shower earlier this month. I sat a table where everyone except me had children. For the first time, I didn’t mind being the anomaly. It struck me that having children isn’t meant to be part of my journey and that’s okay. I felt with every fiber of my being the absolute rightness of where I am in my life. I thought about how much I have to be thankful for — especially my beloved fur baby Benji, who fills my days with the unconditional love, joy and affection that make animals such magical creatures.

I am finally experiencing what so many women have told me about the stronger sense of self that accompanies this decade. And no longer feeling the need to apologize or justify who you are, finally embracing that the only person you really need to be true to is yourself. I understand this in a way I couldn’t have before facing some life-altering trials. Finding my way out of a crippling 18-month depression showed me that not only am I enough, but I can feel proud of each line etched on my face. Because I’ve earned every single one.

Age is more than just a number. It’s a beautiful opportunity to celebrate how far you’ve come – and, with the help of God, loved ones and a little determination – how much more you have to look forward to. After all, isn’t that what being both older and wiser is all about?